“As I backed myself into the bush alongside the road, keeping the house in distant view, I could feel the branches piercing my back like taunting jabs mocking my every move. I adjusted my baby on my hip, dropped our overnight bags to the ground and waited”
(This is a small glimpse into https://www.tellingmystory.ca/my-story)
And even after I waited in the bush that day for my ride, a ride that would take me to a women’s shelter, I still went back to that toxic relationship for one last round.
You see, I could not grasp my true worth and after being emotionally beaten down, the lies that plagued my mind; they became my worth[lessness]. And because I was so blinded in the pain of my unhealthy, codependent cycle, I couldn’t see past the hurt to find hope.
I didn’t have to stay in the abusive relationship trying to validate my worth but because I wasn’t able to believe my true worth, my worthlessness became my hopeless prison.
But, Isaiah 30:18 says “Therefore the Lord will wait, that He may be gracious to you; And therefore He will be exalted, that He may have mercy on you.” And God patiently waited until I was ready to listen. God showed me that He loved me no matter what I did or didn’t do. He showed me that His heart was full of forgiveness. That He had a plan for my life and when I was ready to give up my will and my plans and start listening to His voice directing me towards His will, my circumstances changed. Once I began to understand my worth in God, the one who knows my every thought, my every hope, my every dream, I was able to leave that “worthlessness” prison for good.
When we try to receive our worth from our worldly accolades, our possessions or relationships, we learn that there is an emptiness they can never fill. We are so busy trying to find worth in these worldly measures we miss out on the incredible blessings He has for us. Blessings of contentment knowing we are loved unconditionally and beyond measure. Blessings of forgiveness as far as the east is from the west. Blessings of unspeakable joy and fullness of Glory. Blessings in knowing the vastness of our worth.
We have to stand on guard. There is a war going on and our mind is the battlefield. A battle between what the enemy says we are worth and what God says we are worth. We need to receive and believe God's truths. The enemy will have us believe otherwise, keeping us foiled up trying to achieve our unattainable, worldly worth. Don’t believe the enemy’s lie. Use God’s word as a shield to guard your mind. Speak His truths into your life. Do not repeat the enemy’s lies to yourself. Speak of God’s love for you, His word has power. A power far beyond the strength of any lie from the enemy.
Praying God’s truths pour down upon you like a refreshing rain washing away the pain from the enemy’s lies ♥
Blessings.
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