Searching for validation?
Searching for acceptance?
Searching for something that will drown out the daunting words playing over and over again in your head; "you don't matter", "you are a failure".
You look at your past, you see your failures and mistakes and you feel shame, disappointment, sadness... An emptiness that sets the tone for every moment of your day. Hopelessness sets in. “What’s the point”?
The aching void is real.
You can’t escape it.
It’s only natural, like any other pain we suffer, we want to make the pain go away.
Maybe it’s substance abuse. Maybe is rescuing others so you don’t have to face your own life. Maybe it is an unhealthy need to be needed driving you past the line of healthy boundaries. Or maybe it’s filling that void with an unhealthy relationship, searching for someone that will validate you are wanted... at any cost.
I know this story.
I was caught in that cyclical “mouse’s wheel” for over thirty years.
So much regret and shame came out of those decades of suffering.
There isn’t a quick fix that will change everything. A new “mission” rescuing someone else in need, a new partner, a weekend bender, the “high” of endorphin and serotonin, it will all eventually fade. The excitement will pass, the pain of your reality will rear its ugly head, and once again, there you are, hurting, sad, and feeling hopeless.
How do we change this heart-wrenching cycle?
It can be a long journey. Each one of us has our own walk with God.
For me, it began when I truly surrendered my will. When I began to do what the prompting of the Holy Spirit was telling me instead of what the strong-willed-stubborn me was saying, my mindset and character began to change. I began to take on more of God’s character, and my sinful nature began to fade.
It was a battle… a challenging battle.
And God knew what I needed to find internal peace.
He knew my innermost thoughts.
And He didn’t leave me on my own to find my way to this peace and acceptance I had been searching for most of my life.
No, He gently guided me when I gave Him my will.
There were times when I took my will back, and He would step aside, letting me go on down another self-serving rabbit hole. But the joy and peace I found when He and I were walking in sinq would call out to me, and once again, I would surrender back my will, and together we would continue on my journey.
I started to think more like God, act more like God and live more like God. And you know what?? I began to live more and more under His Blessings. My. Life. Changed.
He is so loving. So kind. So patient.
There is a reason why you hurt the way you do. You didn’t start this way. Time, human error, circumstances, some out of your control, they all played a part in the set of lies you now believe…
Can I encourage you today to…
Believe God has a better plan than yours, and trust Him to lead you to His perfect will for your life.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
Ask God to show you the areas in your life that need change.
“Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Remember, Lord, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old.
Do not remember the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you, Lord, are good. Good and upright is the Lord; therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.
He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way. All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful toward those who keep the demands of his covenant. For the sake of your name, Lord, forgive my iniquity, though it is great. Who, then, are those who fear the Lord?
He will instruct them in the ways they should choose.” Psalm 25:4-12
Give Thanks.
“I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever.” Psalm 86:12
And take control over your thoughts. The enemy wants you to fail. To spend a life distant from God. Distant from God’s plan for your life. The enemy wants you as far away from God as he can influence you to be.
Here is a great reference on taking control over your thoughts: https://www.tellingmystory.ca/post/play-rewind-delete-record
Remember, God wants you free from the oppression you have been living in. He wants you experiencing His Joy, His peace, His love. Hand over the reigns and see what happens to your life.
Blessings to you forever and a day ♥
Michelle
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